Getting Sober Without AA

The Bestie Messages/Early Sobriety/Getting Sober Without AA

How To Get Sober Without AA

Getting sober is no small thing. Especially when you're doing it without AA and you're not sure where to turn.

If that’s you right now—if you've said, "I don't want to go to AA," or "I tried it, and it’s just not for me"—I want you to know something important:

You're not alone.

And yes, it is totally possible to get sober without Alcoholics Anonymous.

I’ve been sober since 2009, and ever since I started sharing that online, people have been sliding into my DMs saying exactly that: "I don’t want to go to AA. What else can I do?"

So let's talk about it.

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There Is No One Way to Get Sober

Let’s get this out of the way first: there is no one-size-fits-all path to sobriety. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to convince you to believe what they believe.

Yes, some people get sober in AA.

Some people get sober in SMART Recovery. Or through therapy. Or through Buddhist recovery like Refuge Recovery.

Or even on their own.

There are so many ways to recover now, especially since 2009 when I got sober. We didn't even have Instagram then!

So if AA isn’t your vibe? That’s okay.

There are other options. Find the path that works for you.

What Really Helps in Early Sobriety.

Whether you go to AA, a different group, or none at all, these core principles are what helped me most in my early sobriety:

Accountability: Someone who knows your truth. This could be a sponsor, a therapist, a coach, a friend, or a mentor. Someone you can text when you're struggling. Someone who keeps you grounded.

Community: Mutual support groups can be incredibly powerful. AA, Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Recovery 2.0, This Naked Mind—whatever fits you. Or even a private coaching circle or online group that shares your values. Just having people who get it makes a huge difference.

Telling the Truth: To someone. Anyone. Hiding and isolating can feed the shame and spiral. Speaking your truth—even if you’re crying or shaking—is healing.

Purpose: What are you here for? What lights you up? For me, sobriety gave me my life back, and I knew I wanted to help others get free too. Purpose fuels momentum. It becomes your north star.

Alcohol Damages Our Ability to Quit.

One of the reasons addiction is so tricky is because alcohol literally impairs the brain’s ability to stop drinking. That rewires in sobriety.

So if you find yourself saying, "Why can’t I just stop?!" it's not because you're broken. It's because the thing itself is interfering with your ability to choose.

That changes the longer you stay sober. The longer you're off the substance, the more your brain heals. The more agency you reclaim. But in the beginning?

Support helps massively.

Also our brains do heal on their own, they recover naturally when we stop flooding them with booze.

Plus you can (and I'd say 'should') do practices to rewire your brain.

New brain equals a new life.

Your Intuition is Worth Trusting.

So many people are told to "just follow the program" and ignore their gut. I disagree.

You don’t have to betray yourself to get sober.

Yes, you might try things that don’t fully fit. But that doesn’t mean you’re doomed. It means you’re experimenting, listening to yourself, evolving. That’s healthy. That’s freedom.

If a program, a book, or a group resonates? Follow it.

If it feels off? Try something else.

Keep going.
Stay curious.
Stay committed to your freedom.

Some Non-AA Options to Explore.

Refuge Recovery: Buddhist-based, focused on meditation and mindfulness.

SMART Recovery: Based on cognitive behavioral therapy.

Recovery 2.0: For those further along who want a spiritually-aligned program.

This Naked Mind / Tempest: Online sobriety communities and programs.

Therapy or Coaching: One-on-one work can help you uncover the root causes.

Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy: Ketamine and other psychedelic research is showing promise in reducing cravings and healing addiction patterns.

Online Courses: Like mine. Liberated in Sober Skin (click here) and Rocket Your Recovery (click here) can help you radically transform your life. Confused where to start? Start with Liberated.

There Are Many Paths To Freedom.

There are many paths to freedom.

Find yours. Trust it. Follow it.

If something’s not working, try something else. Take new action for new results.

Because this isn’t just about not drinking.

It’s about creating a life you actually want to be present for.

Making the most out of your second shot at life.

Living like you mean it.

I WANT FREEDOM