I've been sober since September 29, 2009.

15 years since I took my last drink.

15 years since I made a promise to myself that I was going to figure out how to live—really live—without alcohol.

Without numbing.
Without the false confidence, the social crutch, or the escape hatch.
Just me, raw and real.

And now, over 5,000 days sober, I want to share some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned with you. These aren't theoretical ideas or Insta quotes—these are lived, felt, sometimes hard-won lessons that helped me grow through sobriety, not just survive it.

1. Join a Recovery Community

You don’t have to do this alone. Healing happens in connection — always.

Whether online or in person, finding a like-minded community is one of the most powerful things you can do. It grounds you, mirrors your growth, and reminds you you're not crazy — you're evolving.

If you’re feeling isolated, this is the first place to look.

2. Where Are Your Feet?

If you’re spinning out in anxiety or stuck in the past/future loop, try this: pause and ask, "Where are my feet?"

Bringing awareness to the present moment can be wildly regulating. It’s a simple grounding tool that can shift your state — especially when everything feels like too much.

3. Anxiety Isn’t Forever

If you’re still living with low-grade (or full-blown) anxiety, you might think this is just “how you are.”

It’s not.

Working with your nervous system, your thoughts, and your habits can literally change your brain. You’re not broken — and your anxiety isn’t forever.

4. Courage Changes Everything

That fear you’re feeling? It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It probably means you’re on the edge of something big.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear — it’s the choice to move anyway.

When you consistently choose courage, your world expands.

5. Find Joy in Pain

Even in dark seasons, you can train your brain to look for the light. Start a joy journal — just a few things each day that brought you peace, pleasure, or a smile. This isn't bypassing the pain; it's building a brain that knows how to hold both.

6. Choose Your Future

What do you really want? Like, really want?

Getting sober clears space to start dreaming again. You get to design this life. Vision boards, aligned action, intentional thinking — it’s not fluff. It’s neuroplasticity. It works.

Start where you are.

7. Suffering Is Optional

Pain? Inevitable. But suffering? That’s the story we attach to the pain.

If you're spiraling in “why me” or “this shouldn’t be happening,” try zooming out.

Drop the story.

What’s left is a present moment you can actually work with — not against.

8. Transform Pain by Feeling It

Instead of resisting pain — try meeting it. Sit with the physical or emotional discomfort.

Breathe into it.
Get curious.
Presence changes pain.

You don’t have to push it away to move through it.

9. Life, Live It

You don’t need permission to go after the life you want. You don’t need to earn your dreams. If you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it. Stop waiting for the “right time.”

Start living — messy, scared, and fully awake.

10. Guilt: The People-Pleaser’s Trigger

If guilt keeps running your life, it might be because you're operating from an old program. Next time guilt pops up, don’t react — feel it. Notice where it lives in your body.

Breathe.

Then choose what you want to do, from a grounded place.

11. Trust Your Instincts

You probably already know the answer. If you feel that tightness in your gut or that soft whisper of this isn’t right — trust it. Sobriety makes your intuition louder. Don’t override it just to keep the peace.

12. Set Clear Intentions

The universe (and your brain) love clarity. When you get clear on what you want, weird synchronicities start showing up. Don’t overthink it — set the intention, take one small aligned action, and watch what unfolds.

13. Focus on Expansion

Hard things happen. And when they do, you get to choose what you focus on.

Do you collapse… or expand?

Heartbreak, rejection, failure — they can be fuel. Put your energy into what lights you up and watch your life shift.

14. The Universe Supports Us

When you're in alignment with your purpose — support shows up. People, opportunities, magic.

Stay open to the idea that the universe might just be conspiring in your favor.

Especially when you’re brave enough to follow your truth.

15. Is It Good? Is It Bad? I Don’t Know.

Sometimes the worst moments turn out to be the most important.

Don’t rush to label the hard stuff.
Trust the long game.
Stay open.

Life has a funny way of surprising you — if you let it.