Breaking Free From Emotional Pain

Sobriety Bestie Blog/Emotional Sobriety/Breaking Free From Emotional Pain

I am so glad you're here for this episode, we're gonna dive deep.

In some ways I feel like this is the most important thing I can teach you!!

Because it's that good.

It's legit your new emotional superpower.

And for sober folks like us, especially those of us with Big Dreams (like entrepreneurship!) that are going to require moving through Big Feels, this is everything.

This is a technique that previously I reserved for my VIP coaching clients that I'm now sharing with you here.

This is why you're gonna love it...

It'll help you go from ANY and ALL intense emotions, including full blown rage, gut wrenching grief and an anxiety attack to calmer or completely calm in less than 90 seconds.

Legit it took me years to simplify this into something stupid simple that works every time for everyone I've ever personally led through it (all my students and clients).

So buckle up, and let's embark on this emotional sobriety masterclass!

Alright, no further delay, we're off to emotional freedom in 3, 2, 1...



Hello, courageous, bestie. I am so excited. You are here for this episode on breaking free freedom from emotional pain. This is one of the most important things that we can talk about, that we can teach that that you are invited to have a shift in your perspective on if you've been struggling with emotional pain, if emotions are stopping you, aren't they?

All of us, to be a sober entrepreneur, to try something new, like living life with all the feelings. Cause you're not numbing them out with alcohol or to start a new business and to put yourself out there in the world. Maybe you want to share a message online. You want to step out there and create live big dreams.

If you're like me, maybe you want to do the laptop lifestyle and you want to travel on the world and you want to help people and give back while being location independent is going to require a lot of feelings, right? It's really uncomfortable to go outside our comfort zone. So if you want to be a dream lover.

If you want to use this second shot at life that is sobriety to really go for it, it is going to, in my opinion, require a new relationship with your emotions. So this is stuff that I teach really deeply. This is like my passion. This is my work. This is the stuff I have been doing with my clients and students since 2012 since I started my business.

I have. Perfected some techniques over the years. I'm going to share one with you today. That is super fricking simple. I don't want you to overlook it. It took me 10 years to make it this simple and like hundreds of people that I've worked with in order to get this simple for you.

So I'm super glad you're here to learn it. I actually have an entire module of a course called liberated and sober skin, and there's an entire module and liberated and sober skin, which is all up, which is called comfy in your skin, right? Because that's all I wanted when I got sober was how to feel comfortable my skin.

So in that model, we talk about and I'm going to share some of it with you today. Okay? So we talk about befriending the sensations. We talk about micro addictions, emotional sobriety and self love and self compassion. This is really how we feel comfortable on our skin sober. It's how I do. It's how I teach it.

Maybe there's other ways, there is no one way up the mountain, right? There's many different ways to do many different things. This is a way that I have found to be most effective. It is the way that I have gone by what's worked for me, like what I teach about, what I learn about, what I've done about what I, how I've become about how I've.

How I have transformed the most and what's been the most beneficial for me and the path that I have really gravitated towards and that I teach on is about using our consciousness in order as a, as our way to liberate ourselves, right? So using our consciousness to change our relationship with our thoughts and our feelings.

And so learning how to empower ourselves in the moment so that no matter what emotion arises, because they're all going to arise, especially if you are going to. Continue to an embark on the journey of a living life, sober and starting a business like all the feelings. It is a big welcome to your fucking feelings party.

When you do this, right? Sobriety is about it's about having all the feelings all the time, not numbing out and learning how to deal with that and learning how to transform your relationship with it. So some of the feelings that we get slammed with when we're on that early sobriety emotional rollercoaster.

Are going to be healed. They're going to be removed. They are there. It's like the past being revealed in the present. And if we work through it in the right way, right? It will be gone. Like we're not going to have all the, that dysregulation that we have in early sobriety. And also something that happens in entrepreneurship that I've noticed is everything gets easier over time.

Whether we're talking about sobriety or entrepreneurship or sharing a message online or whatever it may be facing the unknown, embracing the unknown, navigating our feelings when we're new. It's harder because we don't have that skill set. We also don't have that mindset where we know we can get through everything, right?

We have to rebuild that we cultivate that we become confident, which is what so much so many of us really desire and sobriety, isn't it? Once you just want to be confident, sober. What the fuck? So the way that I look at confidence is Confidence comes from competence, which comes from experience. So if I can start doing something and start having an experience with something, like an experience of being with my emotions in a new way, I'm going to build up some competence, some ability.

Literally, my skills and ability will increase. And as my competence builds, my confidence will build. My confidence isn't that I will never feel a certain way, a way that I don't prefer, right? Like guilt, shame, anger, doubt, overwhelm, insecurity, any of the feelings that I don't prefer. I don't prefer those feelings.

And I'm sure you don't know who nobody prefers those feelings, right? So confidence to me and sobriety, isn't about not feeling a certain way or not feeling bad or good. So called negative feelings. It's about being confident that no matter what arises internally, that I can handle it, that I can move forward and I can move on.

And it's not going to drive my life. It's that I'm not letting any specific emotion sit in the driver's seat of my life that I know how to take the wheel of my life and steer it in the direction that I want to go. And that I'm not afraid if doubt jumps in the front seat, that I know how to Be with doubt so that I can continue consciously steering my life forward.

That's what it's all about. You want to be a dream lover. It's about getting into your feelings. I really believe it's like we feel our way to freedom and it doesn't mean suffering. Like to me, feeling isn't suffering. So here's the thing I was going to tell you about emotional sobriety and befriending the sensations and like the the pulling something out of my liberated in sober skin course.

So what it is, it's called double check. This is the technique I'm going to teach. Actually, this technique is also in, it's the PS part of my book, the Harkasm Revolution, A Mind Blowing Guide to Self Love. It's the last, the PS, the very last chapter of my book, or a little part section of my book.

It's because it's that important. So I highlight it. So I teach it in multiple places. I teach it in multiple courses that I sell online. I teach it in my book. I'm going to teach it to you right now on this podcast because it's so fricking important and it's so simple. And this is what I said. It took me 10 years to develop this.

And it is so stupid simple. I don't want you to just gloss over this because there's, because your freedom's on the line because your freedom is on the line. Okay. So this is what it is when we have emotions, when we have a feeling, when we have emotional pain. So let's break down what emotional pain is before as like a, let's like set this up.

As we have what we would normally call emotional pain, what's really happening is we're having a biochemical experience in our body. We've had a certain thoughts, either something's been triggered from our past, right? Or something in our environment. We are has perceived a threat based upon a past experience.

We have some learning, some memory in our brain, call it trauma, call it learning, call it whatever you want, but something in our environment might have made us feel or sense something from our past or past been triggered. We perceive a threat. We're having a feeling, we're having an emotion, we're feeling unsafe or however it's activated.

Somehow our nervous system is activated. So what's activated inside us? What's activated inside us is stress chemicals. It's a biochemical experience. If we're having anger or fear, it's going to be adrenaline cortisol and 30 other stress chemical friends, right? It's stress chemicals in our system. What we feel is this biochemical experience, these chemicals, these neurotransmitters buzzing through our body, our blood in our, in our moving around, moving through our brain, right?

That's what we're feeling and we're calling it guilt. We're calling it shame. We're calling, we have all these names and labels that we give it. I think it's so helpful when we're on this emotional mastery, emotional sobriety journey, wanting to be more confident, sober, wanting to put ourselves out there in our purpose work, live aligned with our truth is that we stop using the words that are disempowering for us.

So if guilt, it feels disempowering to say, or pain, like I specifically stopped saying the word pain when I was getting Two and a half years sober. I stopped saying the word pain because every time I said the word pain, I felt like a tinge of suffering and resistance. So I just dropped the words pain.

And I literally, the way that I would frame it, cause I had a, I had an injury. I was physically disabled. I had an injury that throbbed with a lot of intense pain, right? I had repetitive stress injuries. And so I stopped using the word pain because every time I said pain, I felt a resistance and I suffered a little bit.

And so instead I would literally and this is gonna sound weird, but this is the invitation. Let's just get weird up in here. Because we're talking about freedom. We're talking about feeling better. So I would say this sensations. I don't prefer the sensations formerly known as pain. So there's sensations in my body that I don't prefer.

So if you can start to look at your emotional experience, Sensations instead of emotions with specific names, because we're gonna have opinions about what we think about anger, what we think about guilt, what we think about shame, doubt, insecurity, whatever. But we might not have it's neutral sensation.

It's literally just there's a buzz in my body. It's actually. Energy. If I'm talking about the energy in my body, it already takes me a step back from not wanting the guilt to be here, not wanting the shame, not wanting the feeling that I'm unlovable or whatever, right? So we just start to look at our emotional experience or our feelings as sensations, and then we learn to become friends with them because a lot of us.

And then I'll get to the technique. A lot of us when we get sober or at least before we get sober, right? So there our relationship with our emotions is to distract ourselves from them to avoid them to block them to numb them out Alcohol is really great. At least it was for me at shutting off my feelings, right?

But it wasn't just the bad ones It was the good ones too because it would be like I'm having a bad day. I drink. I'm stressed. I drink. I'm having a good day. I drink. I get some sort of award or something to celebrate, anything. Celebrate is a drink. So you celebrate good with a drink. You celebrate bad with a drink.

You fall in love. You have a drink. You go through a breakup. You have a drink. So it's like all these emotions are tied to drinking and the drinking numbs them out. Another thing that, okay, so I'm a little bit of a nerd here. So I like to go deep on the science to really understand things. Like I can be super spiritual and I like to get into that vibe of following your intuition, being led, faith and all that and the spirit of the universe.

But also I really love the science. I get into reading all of the data and learning all about it. And so our ability to notice what's happening inside of our body, it's a sense, right? So we have the sense of smell, a sense of taste, all that. So our ability to sense what's happening inside of our body is called interoception.

So if you've meditated for a while, it's going to increase your interoception, right? If you drink for a while, it's going to decrease your interoception. So there are ways to increase our interoception, our ability to feel what's happening inside of our body to feel our digestion. For example, I remember I was about

two years sober. And I was feeling my digestion and I was telling my sponsor in sobriety, I was like, Oh my God, I feel my digestion, it's so crazy. Like I haven't felt this before. And my sponsor was like, congratulations, you're alive. Cause I had been so numbed out. And so here's what I learned in the science.

That's like super cool. That I don't, I've never really heard people like dive into this, but I'm, I love this, and so I want to share it with you because maybe you're a little geeky like me too, or it'd be like fun to learn about. Alcohol kills our interoception abilities. It numbs it out. It literally damages our ability to feel what's happening inside of our body.

That was a pro. That's what I liked. I liked that alcohol. I didn't know that it damaged. Don't worry, we have neurogenesis, right? We can regrow our ability, rebuild our abilities, right? Especially it stays over longer. But so when we drink alcohol, it actually damages our ability to feel what's happening inside of our body.

Alcohol is a great emotional number. You don't need to hear this. You already know this, but it literally changes our ability to feel, not just in the moment when we're numbed out, but it changes our ability to feel what's happening inside of our body. So then what happens, right? We get sober because if you're like me, you get sober because you have to, not because you want to get sober because you want to live.

So then what happens over some time of sobriety? I'm not sure. I'm not even sure if you are sober, but if you are, I don't know how sober you are. Definitely let me know, write it down. Put it in the comments, like how long have you been sober? So here is the interesting part.

You're interoceptive abilities. It's literally an ability of the body. It's a. feeling. It's feeling what's happening inside your body. So that builds up over the years. So over the years we start to feel more.

So we start to get our feelings back. So it's really important that if we're going to stay sober and thrive, right? And by thrive, I mean that we have dreams in our heart and then we go after them and achieve them. Then we really need to learn this stuff, how to have that new relationship with our feelings.

So that we don't have to run from them anymore, that we don't have to date all these sorts of people we don't want to date or watch all this Netflix or eat all these chips or ice cream or whatever going to cross addictions and secondary addictions.

So here is the technique. Double check. This is what we do. So when you have a feeling, I'm just going to walk you through it. Now, I assume that right now in this moment, you don't have a feeling cause you're just here with me. But if you do catch a feeling and it's one of those ones you don't prefer, and one that you would formally call emotional pain, but now you're calling it sensations you don't prefer.

And you notice that you have the feeling in your body. Just noticing that you have it is the first empowering step, right? So there's a huge difference between. I am angry, and Anger is here. And the truth of the matter is you are a soul inside a body. I believe at the deepest level of my being that we are souls inside of a body here to evolve, right?

So I'm a soul inside of a body here to evolve. I am not anger. I am an energy. I am a soul experiencing Anger, right? I am not anger. I am not an emotion. I have emotional experiences, but I am not an emotion as emotions come and go. I'm not the rain, but rain, it might be raining on me. So I am not the, if the feeling I'm the one that is observing and witnessing the feeling.

So anger is here is a way more empowering. step, then I am angry to say to someone, you made me angry is super disempowering. Nobody can make us feel the way they can trigger feelings inside of us, but we are responsible for our feelings. This is our life, our world. They are not responsible for our past.

We come to the world with our own genes, our own histories of our nervous system, the own dramas and traumas and whatever we've been through. So we are meeting this person, not fresh. We are meeting them with our entire histories and things might be triggered inside us. Nobody can make us feel a way. So to say you made me angry is giving your power away.

It's not true. It's a victim mentality and we can move on from that. We've all been there. We've all said that we've all done that and we can move on. So the lower level is you made me angry. The next level is I am angry. So now you're owning your feeling, you're owning the sensations, but you are not the sensations.

You are the, you're the spirit. You're the energy experiencing the sensations. You're the witness of the sensations. If we're really going to take it to that stage. That's that soul level at its spirit level, right? So anger is here is more empowering you made me angry. I am angry.

Anger is here. So we want to get to the place where we're at, like anger is here. And so when you notice, so when you were out of that victim mindset and we're out of the, like blaming somebody for our feelings, if you go blame someone for your feelings later on today or tomorrow, whatever, like we all go there.

It's not about being perfect. It's about living more empowered and trying to shift our entire way of being with a world into a more empowering way. So way more empowering way is, Oh my God, anger is here. Anger is triggered, right? Anger is triggered. So then what we do is we want to have this new relationship with the sensations formerly called anger.

So instead of wanting them to go away, wanting to cover them up with something like, I don't know. Like ice cream or whatever, right? So instead of wanting to do something to cover how we feel or change how we feel or to, basically that's abandoning and rejecting and betraying ourselves. So instead of wanting to do that, what we want to do is we want to become friends.

Become friends. with what you feel inside This is befriending the sensations with your body. You can't feel it. You can't feel it. You can't feel it. The real kicker here is that the way that we become comfortable in our skin sober is by befriending discomfort.

It's actually way easier than it sounds. Nobody wants to be uncomfortable. Nobody wants to have discomfort. What embrace it and when you embrace it, it's like rolling with the punches. It's not that bad. Literally the technique I'm about to teach you, double check when I take my clients through it, who have paid me thousands of dollars to learn this kind of stuff I'd say 95 percent of them have said the exact same sentence.

This is what they say, this is what I want you to say. I want something I want you to say it as I want that. I want you to have this as an empowering way to to genuinely feel in the moment, no matter what arises within you so that you can go out there and live your dreams and be free and be comfortable.

  I almost didn't see you there. Are you here looking for the secret? The secret to feeling comfy, confident, and courageous in sober skin? Well, I'm so glad that I see you here because I have a free mini course introducing the secret to feeling comfy, confident, and courageous in sober skin.

Just go ahead  and click here, SobrietyBestie. com/transcript and get the goods. I'll see you inside the free mini course. It's a secret. We'll see you inside the mini course.

 I really want you to be liberated. So they always say it's not that bad. It's not that bad. And what are we talking about? We're talking about anger. We're talking about rage. So if I have a client who's in a panic attack and I guide them through the double check, what do they say within two minutes? It's not that bad.

If they're in rage, what do they say in two minutes? It's not that bad. If they're in guilt, it's not that bad. Shame, it's not that bad. Doubt, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. What's not that bad? Their emotional, so called emotional pain is not that bad. I would love it if that becomes the way that you genuinely experience what normally before today, you would have called emotional pain.

If you move forward, experiencing it as something that it's not that bad. That's my dream for you. That is why I'm here for you talking to you in the jungle. You are welcome to the jungle baby, the sobriety bestie jungle. The reason by the way, why I'm doing the jungle vibes is because you've heard that phrase before, like it's a jungle out there.

Really what I found from sobriety and especially like sobriety and entrepreneurship together, it's a jungle in there. It's a fucking jungle in there. It is a jungle in there. I'm pointing in my body because the reason why I'm pointing like at my chest and in my body is because it's all of the emotions.

It's like a jungle in there. There's a lot to untangle and unwind. There's a reason why I almost drank myself to death, right? That's a reason why I had all those anxiety disorders. There was a lot going on. There was a lot to unwind. There was a lot of shame.

There was a lot of grief. There was a lot of heartbreak. There was a lot of betrayal that I had to process. There was a lot of stuff. It is like a jungle in there, but it's okay. It is like a jungle in there, but I'm here to guide you through it. So let's, enough chattering. Let's get, I'm talking to myself.

I've been chattering a lot. So let's get right into it. Let's go into the double check. And so again, like I assume that you're not going to be in the intensive motion right now, but let me just walk you through the process as if you were. So if you were, and you're able to close your eyes right now, I'll just go ahead and close your eyes.

I've closed my eyes. Take a deep inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

Let's just take one more inhale together and exhale through the nose.

Okay, so now let's imagine for a second that you were having, my eyes are still closed by the way, the invitation is for you to keep your eyes closed for this. So imagine you have a huge emotion inside your body right now. Guilt, anger, rage, shame, anxiety attack, whatever it is.

Here's what the invitation is to do. It is to check in your body where that is true right now. Where is the guilt true? Where is the rage true? Where is the shame true? Where is the feeling true? Where do you notice the sensations inside your body? Where are they? Are they in your throat? Are they on your chest?

Are they in your abdomen? Where are the loudest sensations? And then once my client or my student would say to me, Oh, that's my belly. And then I would say, so this is what you do. How big are the sensations in your belly? And then what you do is you literally, so you literally first identify where are the biggest sensations in your body, and then you notice how big they are.

And then once you notice how big they are, give them a size, you could say a grapefruit, right? You just give a size to how big the sensations are. Remember, we're talking about what before would have been called guilt or shame or rage, but the emotional experience, we are just identifying with using your consciousness to identify the size of the emotional experience you're having.

This kind of might sound weird for a hot minute because it's new, but this is the path that I have found to get everyone free, right? So then you take a deep inhale, open your eyes. And you just look around and close your eyes, exhale with a fresh mind, a beginner's mind. As if we didn't just do this, close your eyes and check again, go back to your stomach or wherever the sensations were.

And you just notice what size are they now? What size are they now? As if you didn't just tell me, just check again, what size are they now? And then they'll say what size, it's a. Baseball, a golf ball, a grape, or they're gone, whatever it is, whatever's true. There's no BS here. This is all just what's actually true in the moment.

And then open your eyes, take a breath. So I named it double check because we're literally just double checking what's happening inside of our body. Sensationally speaking about the sensations that represent the physical experience that we have a label on in English of guilt, shame, rage, whatever, right?

We have an emotional name. There's an emotion associated with these sensations that we're experiencing. So you double check them. The first time you check them, you essentially want to find out how big they are. Then you open your eyes, fresh brain, fresh mind, beginner's mind, check again. What size are they now?

If you're really activated, check a third time, right? It takes less than 90 seconds, less than two minutes. And then every single time that I've done this with a client, literally, the sensations are smaller or they're completely gone. This means no matter what emotional experience you're having, no matter what, no matter how intense it is within two minutes, it could be either gone or significantly reduced.

I'm hesitant to be sharing this with you over a podcast. Because I don't want you to skip this, to miss this. This is this is gold. This will change your life. This is one of the most powerful things I could teach you on your path to liberation. So practice this, let it be your new thing, dive on into it, enjoy it, get to know it.

So like I said, 95 percent of my students, after they do the double check, they literally say to me, it's not that bad. They'll be like, Oh my God, girl, I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. And this, that, some sort of emotion. I'll be like, all right, close your eyes, take a breath, double check.

And then afterwards, I'm like, how do you feel now? What do you think now of your emotion? It's not that bad. It's not that bad. So what we're really saying here is no matter how you feel, within two minutes, you can shape shift your entire experience of that emotion so that you come back to conscious choice.

This isn't just about becoming an emotional ninja, although you will be , this isn't just about mastering emotional sobriety. Although you will, this isn't just about staying sober, although it's really going to help. This is really about is coming back to conscious choice, which means if you want to start a business, if you want to put yourself out there on the internet with public speaking, if you want to travel the world, I'm just saying the dreams that I've had, right?

Whatever your dreams are, whatever your dreams are, whatever you want to do, whatever is outside of your comfort zone, which is where dreams live, that you will be able to do that. Because if you start doing something like that. This start changing your relationship with your thoughts and your feelings, especially emotional pain.

And you learn, you have ways to move through it. I teach so many ways. I have like multiple courses on the internet, right? I have a lot of courses that I sell and a lot of them are about techniques and how to move through these different emotions. There's different flavors and different ways and different strategies and.

I've taught students for over a decade. I've been sober since 2009. So I've had a lot of experience with all this stuff. I've had a lot of emotions and I've had a lot of stuff to work through. I do this work because I needed it. Not because let's like, I chose it, right? It, the work chose me.

My point is there are a lot of different ways to emotional freedom and emotional mastery. There are a lot of different ways to pursuing your dreams and getting through the stuff that blocks us, right? It is our emotions that block us from our dreams. That's been my experience. Maybe it's some other stuff.

Maybe, yes, sometimes resources matter. Sometimes other things matter. But a lot of times it's our mindset. Our belief in ourself and the emotions that come up when we step outside our comfort zone. That's why I focus here because this has really been the key to me in my own sobriety and my own entrepreneurial pursuits and wanting to make a difference in the world.

I really wanted to make my second shot at life matter. I got sober. I almost died, right from alcohol and fear. I got sober. I got a second shot at life and I felt called to help people with fear at the very basic level of, I want to help people with fear. A lot of us are also afraid of. All of our feelings.

So now you have you have to double check. The next big feeling that you have please double check it. Get into the sensations. Befriend your sensations. If it doesn't hit right away, that's fine.

fine. You can listen to this podcast again. You could practice it again. Like I said, I go more in depth into this in like courses and things like that, but this is enough. This is like legit enough. So next time you feel like you're having a fear of maybe that you'll never really heal or a feeling that you're broken or afraid of what you'll find inside if you do self discovery, or maybe that if you really go for it in your dreams, that they won't come true, you. Whatever your big fears are, instead of letting your mind continue to think about those big fears, if instead you drop in and you do the double check, if you just notice where that fear is true in your body, so you start to feel like afraid of success, afraid of failure, afraid of relapse, afraid of whatever the fear is, afraid of putting yourself out there, afraid of being judged on the internet.

So instead of just staying in that thought and staying in the feelings of that, drop your thoughts by anchoring your mind into the sensations inside your body. Just go into them. Where are they? How big are they? Become friends with what you feel inside by allowing it, by marrying your consciousness to it.

Bring your consciousness into the sensations inside your body. This is what I have found to be a path, I'd say the path, but a path to freedom. And the reason why I'd say the path, although there isn't one path is because the science behind this, the science behind this, which I love to geek out on too, is that when we are.

It's not just about stopping our thoughts or distracting ourselves, although that happens. If you can distract yourself from having an anxiety attack, that is a big win. If you can distract yourself from drinking a drink and relapsing, that is a big win. If you can distract yourself from some sort of big emotion that is going to be otherwise destructive in a way or whatever, that's a big win.

That's a start. That is the start, right? If I could, back in the day when I was working through my phobia of freeway driving, if I could distract myself from the anxiety while driving, when I was moving through that fear, that phobia, or with public speaking when I was moving through that phobia, if I can distract myself from the emotions, that was a big win.

But we move past distracting. Distraction is not the end result. It's the part of the pathway there, right? The ultimate freedom is when we don't have to distract ourselves from any fucking thing. We're not avoiding our feelings. We're not betraying ourselves. We don't have to reject ourselves.

We don't have to distract ourselves from what's happening in our body. Because we can empower ourselves with what's happening in our body. That's the goal. That's the ticket. And so instead of needing to avoid something, it's more like, where is it? Let's go into it. Let's use it. Let's transform it. So distracting is great to make us, to reduce our suffering in the moment if we need it in the beginning.

But then what we want to do is we want to go in and we don't just want to get rid of it. We actually want to go in and be with it and have, when we have that cultivate that loving relationship with what we feel inside our body, call it self compassion. When we find that compassion for ourselves. And we love that part of ourselves as they're like, where is it?

Where are these sensations? There's more. I don't want to give you too many techniques here, but when we have that new loving relationship with our sensations, instead of trying to avoid them or throw alcohol over them, we are literally creating new neural pathways in our brain. That is okay. That's freedom.

Freedom is when we have a new brain that doesn't act the old way. Freedom is when we have to distract ourselves from how we feel. Freedom is when we've rewired our brain so that we actually have a whole new experience of life. That's what we're talking about here. We're talking about radical self empowerment.

We're talking about your liberation. This is like really cool stuff. So liberate yourself, enjoy the practices, enjoy cultivating that new relationship. If you're in the zone of your journey where you're distracting yourself is good enough, that's a win. There's no need to judge where we're at with how we're relating to our feelings or our emotional pain.

Just know that it is available there to have that new relationship with your sensations, befriending your sensations. And that when you befriend your sensations, when you close your eyes and you bring your awareness into the sensations in your body, you are literally using your visual cortex to imagine, right?

You're visualizing where those sensations are and you're using your visceral, your gut area. You're noticing where those sensations are. The PET and MRI scans show that this is how we resolve. Resolve trauma. That's what I saw in the data. This is how we've resolved trauma, right? So you're not just stopping it.

You're creating your new relationship. You're making new brain waves. You break new brain pathways. I call it like I jokingly call it like brain blazing because they were blazing new or like trailblazers in our brain, right? We're blazing freedom. So you're trailblazing new neural pathways in your brain.

That's why I'm shooting straight to the double check right now. So even if you're like new to all This game, even if you're new and you're still really anxious, I want to let you know that there's so much freedom available for you. I'll continue to share maybe just like one major technique per podcast episode or whatever, cause I don't want to overwhelm you, but I want to load you up with all the good stuff.

I want you to know that it is possible to live the dreams in your heart. It is possible to overcome anxiety. It is possible to change how you relate to emotional pain and not suffer anymore from pain. Like legit, I fell in love with grief. I don't prefer grief. I don't want to feel grief. But when I feel grief, I just bring my full on consciousness.

I drop it into the sensations in my body. And it is like a tsunami. It is like this rip roaring wave pouring through my body. It is so wild. Grief is. I've learned to love grief. I've learned to be with it and allow it to barrel through my body. It feels like this storm barreling through my body. But what I know about grief is that if I allow grief to exist inside my body, which why wouldn't I because it is there, it is already there and I'm sober.

It's not like I can drink over it. There's other things you could do in sobriety to not feel right. But I want to allow my emotional experience to be as it is. Is so that I don't pack down emotions and try to shove them into my body and close off the rooms to my house. I want the rooms to my house to be open.

I want to shine my motherfucking light. Okay. And so we need to allow our feelings to be as they are. If we want to shine our light fully, that's the path to freedom. It's not being afraid of what we feel. So no more phobias of our feelings. We're going to cultivate that new relationship with our emotional experience by looking at things at the level of.

Sensation sensations, baby. It's actually, it's like our arousal. I like jokingly call it with my students, like becoming an arousal lover, learning to love what's arisen inside you, the arousal. So the arousal is the stress, the anxiety, the emotions, anything that's arising inside you. Arousal is more like a scientific term, but I call it like becoming an arousal lover.

So the invitation is to fall in love with your feelings one at a time. It can happen. And I've seen that as a path to freedom. That's what's on offer. Yeah. And you are so courageous. This is not easy work. It is so simple. It is so simple. I told you the double check is like less than two minutes. And it's everybody at the end is like overwhelmed too.

It's not that bad within less than two minutes. You got it. You got one of my best techniques just right there. So it's simple. It might not be easy. You might be resistant to try it. You might feel a certain way about it, this stuff works and I can't wait to hear about how it's working for you.

So enjoy courageous bestie. You are so courageous and there is so much freedom available for you.

Thank  you so much for watching. If you like this video, give it a thumbs up, like it, subscribe for more and I'll see you in the next video. Have a beautiful day.

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Hi, I'm Bestie Kirsten

Founder of Sobriety Bestie and Creator of the courageous community Bestie Club, here to guide you on a  journey to freedom and self empowerment.

Do you want the secret to feeling comfy, confident and courageous in sober skin? Get the free mini course!

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