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I Was Dying from Fear and Alcohol.
For years, I used alcohol to quiet the fear. To shut down the anxiety. To ease the panic. To feel "normal."
Then one day, I caught my reflection in the mirror. I stopped. I didn’t recognize myself.
I looked like an empty shell—like the fire inside me was about to go out. And in that moment, I knew.
If I didn’t quit drinking, I was going to die.
I didn’t really choose to stop drinking.
I chose to live.
I Was Dying from Fear and Alcohol.
For years, I used alcohol to quiet the fear. To shut down the anxiety. To ease the panic. To feel "normal."
Then one day, I caught my reflection in the mirror. I stopped. I didn’t recognize myself.
I looked like an empty shell—like the fire inside me was about to go out. And in that moment, I knew.
If I didn’t quit drinking, I was going to die.
I didn’t really choose to stop drinking.
I chose to live.
But Then There Was Nothing Between Me and the Fear.
Getting sober didn’t make my fears disappear. They were always there.
🚫 Freeway phobia.
🚫 Avoiding leaving the house.
🚫 Public speaking? Hell no.
I couldn’t even sit with my own emotions. The anxiety attacks felt nonstop. Before, I numbed it all with alcohol. But now?
I Had to Face the Fear.
But Then There Was Nothing
Between Me and the Fear.
Getting sober didn’t make my fears disappear. They were always there.
🚫 Freeway phobia.
🚫 Avoiding leaving the house.
🚫 Public speaking? Hell no.
I couldn’t even sit with my own emotions. The anxiety attacks felt nonstop. Before, I numbed it all with alcohol. But now?
I Had to Face the Fear.
So I made a commitment:
F*ck Fear.
Deprogram the bullsh*t.
Reclaim my voice.
Do what scares me—so I can break free.
And that choice changed everything.
So I made a commitment:
F*ck Fear.
Deprogram the bullsh*t.
Reclaim my voice.
Do what scares me—so I can break free. And that choice changed everything.
Now I help others do the same.
I went from being afraid to leave my house… to moving to Bali and traveling the world.
From avoiding driving for 3.5 years… to solo road-tripping 13,000 miles across the U.S.
From terrified of public speaking… to sharing all my deep dark secrets in a TEDx talk.
From a crippling fear of dogs… to falling in love with my Bali dog bestie, Luna.
From being petrified to leave AA... to breaking free from the "forever recovery" dogma in 2020.
From being terrified to say I left AA… to publishing 120+ deprogramming podcasts to help others get free.
Now I help others do the same.
I went from being afraid to leave my house… to moving to Bali and traveling the world.
From avoiding driving for 3.5 years… to solo road-tripping 13,000 miles across the U.S.
From terrified of public speaking… to sharing all my deep dark secrets in a TEDx talk.
From a crippling fear of dogs… to falling in love with the Bali dog, Luna.
From being petrified to leave AA... to breaking free from the "forever recovery" dogma in 2020.
From being afraid to say I left AA… to publishing 120+ deprogramming podcasts that are helping thousands break free.
You’re not broken or powerless — you’re in motion.
You’re a soul inside a body built to evolve, to create, to come alive again.
You can rewire your brain, rewrite your story, and live like you f*cking mean it.
Around here, we ditch the dogma — no one-size-fits-all, no waiting for permission.
Just truth, traction, and the kind of support I wish I’d had when I wanted to make moves.
You’re not broken or powerless — you’re in motion.
You’re a soul inside a body built to evolve, to create, to come alive again.
You can rewire your brain, rewrite your story, and live like you f*cking mean it.
Around here, we ditch the dogma — no one-size-fits-all, no waiting for permission.
Just truth, traction, and the kind of support I wish I’d had when I wanted to make moves.
That's Why I Write The ALL IN Emails.
Real talk on courage, freedom, and doing the damn thing.
Because you’ve got a life to live.
And you're ready to go ALL IN.
That's Why I Write
The ALL IN Emails.
Real talk on courage, freedom,
and doing the damn thing.
Because you’ve got a life to live.
And you're ready to go ALL IN.
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